Just Squeeze an Aspirin Between Your Knees

Watch Your Back: Looking Out for Women and Girls in America #4

“Back in my day, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly.” This joke by GOP donor Foster Friess stirred serious controversy in 2012, proving just how far we’ve gone—backwards—in twelve short years.

BUT LET’S START WITH SOME GOOD NEWS!

Welcome back to Watch Your Back! I come bearing some genuinely great news. How many of you are aware that birth control pills can now be purchased over the counter without a prescription? And they’re cheap! (The Biden administration did some truly amazing shit for women.) That means you no longer have to make—and pay for—a doctor appointment, take time off of work, and chat with a pharmacist who may not approve of your “lifestyle.” The hours, dollars, effort and embarrassment this will save women cannot be overstated.

Opill is on the shelf now (often by the condoms, apparently). It’s progestin-only, so there’s no need to worry about some of the more serious (but rare!) side effects of the pills that combine estrogen and progestin.

No, I don’t work for Opill. But I am a huge fan of contraception. That may sound strange, but here’s why: RELIABLE CONTRACEPTION MADE THE RISE OF WOMEN POSSIBLE. Women’s upward trajectory began the minute the pill came on the market in 1960. For the very first time, we had control over our reproductive lives. We could pursue an education and/or launch a career without worrying about an unexpected pregnancy derailing our plans.

Sixty years later, we can see the civilization-altering results. Women now earn 58.5% of bachelor’s degrees, 62.6% of master’s degrees and 57% of doctoral degrees. We represent a majority of university students—as well as a majority of the college-educated workforce in the US. We have successfully infiltrated the academic and work worlds, and as a result, we have more economic, cultural and political power than any generation of women in the history of humankind. And this REALLY pisses off the patriarchy (a term I loathe but will use for lack of anything better).

SO WHEN YOU HEAR THAT “THEY’RE COMING FOR CONTRACEPTION,” KNOW WHAT THEY’RE REALLY AFTER IS YOUR POWER AND FREEDOM

Okay, but who are THEY? Now this is a very interesting subject. Because we’re used to the enemies of contraception being religious conservatives. Trump clearly does not belong to that group. Nor does Elon Musk. Why do they GAF about contraception? And why is someone like Elon Musk tweeting disinformation about birth control pills?

The upcoming administration is a coalition of three groups that seemingly have very little in common, but who are playing together quite nicely at the moment. There are the TECH BROS (Musk, Thiel, Andreessen, etc.) who just bought unprecedented access and power. We also have the ZEALOTS behind Project 2025, who are currently working hard behind the scenes to staff the administration with like-minded Christian Dominionists. And then, of course, we have the PREDATORS who see women as sex toys they can grab by the pussy.

These aren’t three groups you’d expect to find palling around. And yet their values and worldviews do overlap in key places. Misogyny is a primary motivation for all. (One could make a very strong case for greed, narcissism and white supremacy, too.) The men in the next administration see the rise of women as a key threat to the natural order—an order in which dudes who look like them continue to call all the shots.

These guys are plotting to restore the order that women’s success has been threatening. Getting rid of abortion access is at the top of their to-do list. But make no mistake, they will come for birth control if we let them. Right now, they are actively attacking contraception on at least five fronts:

MISINFORMATION: They’re spreading lies about hormonal birth control and promoting “natural” methods like fertility tracking. As Musk said in his tweet, “Hormonal birth control makes you fat, doubles risk of depression and triples the risk of suicide.” None of this is true.

CONFUSION: Americans (particularly male Americans) do not know the difference between contraceptives, morning-after pills, and abortion pills. The right is doing its best to sow more confusion. Project 2025 calls the morning after pill, (Plan B), a “potential abortifacient” that should not be considered contraception. For the record, Plan B merely delays ovulation. It does NOT end a pregnancy that has started.

ACCESSIBILITY: Everyone from the Project 2025 zealots to Vivek Ramaswamy has made it perfectly clear that they are coming for organizations like Planned Parenthood. Every year, family planning clinics provide contraception to millions of women—many of them living below the poverty line. Prescriptions for contraception have already fallen in states where clinics have been forced to close.

COST: The ACA mandated that employers’ insurance place provide no-cost contraception. The first Trump administration and the Supreme Court freed employers from those rules if they have religious or moral objections. Look for these rules to be loosened even further.

REFUSAL TO PROTECT: This past June, Congress had a chance to protect access to contraception—something they claim to support. The GOP filibustered the bill. “Republicans said it was unnecessary because the use of birth control is already protected under Supreme Court precedent.” Yeah, we all know how that worked out for access to abortion. Republicans have been making the same argument on the state level around the country.

THE NEXT FRONT IN THE WAR ON CONTRACEPTION WILL BE POPULAR CULTURE

Leonard Leo, the man who stacked the US Supreme Court with ultra conservative Catholic justices, has now declared war on American popular culture, which he sees as dominated by the left. (Those who don’t know Leo should click on that first link. He is one seriously terrible dude.) So expect to see more movies, shows, books and newsletters (ha) promoting Leo’s brand of conservative values.

One pop culture salvo that’s currently getting a lot of press is Evie, a creepy as hell glossy magazine that promotes “femininity over feminism” and celebrates the tradwife lifestyle (see below). I truly DGAF how other women choose to lead their lives. You want to submit to your husband, go right ahead. I don’t kink shame. (And that—let’s be honest—that’s what a lot of this crap is.)

But magazines like Evie aren’t harmless. They’re also powerful vehicles for promoting political propaganda and misinformation about contraception. (And encouraging suffering. WTF?)

The woman behind Evie, Brittany Hugoboom, is also the co-founder of a menstrual-tracking app. Peter Thiel—a billionaire who is on the record saying he believes giving women the vote was a mistake—is one of the company’s biggest investors. (He’s also the man who gave us Vice President JD Vance. I felt nauseous writing that.)

I’m going to pause here to offer a quick word of advice: FFS do not track your cycles with anything other than a pen and paper. The people behind these apps are often not people you want handling your medical information. Peter Thiel is at the very top of that list. Why on earth would an openly and unapologetically misogynistic billionaire invest in cycle tracking?

If you were to ask Thiel, he’d probably talk about . . .

PRONATALISM AND THE POPULATION CRISIS

Another movement that gets the Tech Bros and the Zealots singing Kumbayah around the conservative campfire is pronatalism.

Lemme tell you, this is some f**ked up stuff. I don’t have time to dive into it with this newsletter, but we will be coming back to this subject soon. If you’re not familiar with it already, have a little read. Dig into pronatalism and you’ll soon discover it lives right at the heart of the Venn diagram above, combining misogyny, greed, white supremacy and narcissism.

More on that later, but before I go . . .

WHAT WILL RESTRICTING CONTRACEPTION MEAN FOR MEN WHO AREN’T BILLIONAIRES?

There’s been a lot of discussion about what all of this will mean for women. But let’s take a moment to talk about what it will mean for men.

Elon Musk has twelve kids, and he’s encouraging the rest of us to pop out as many as possible. He fails to understand that most people can’t afford giant broods. It’s estimated that the average annual cost of caring for a child in the US is already over $20K. I dunno about y’all, but $240K a year for childcare is a bit out of my budget.

Without access to reliable contraception and other reproductive care, men will not be able to control the size of their families, either. As the sole breadwinner (the wife will be busy producing and caring for children) they’re likely to face serious financial hardship. Their employers would have them over a barrel, that’s for sure. You wouldn’t want to upset the boss when you have thirteen human beings completely dependent on you. Might make salary negotiations, union forming, and job switching a lot more perilous. Which, come to think of it, is exactly what an employer like Musk would want.

Huh! How about that? What a coincidence!

SO WHAT CAN WE DO TO PROTECT REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS THIS WEEK?

1. Read up on pronatalism. We shall discuss soon!

2. Know the difference between birth control pills, Plan B, mifepristone and misoprostol. Be able to clearly and simply articulate the difference.

3. Let’s start talking about all the ways restricting contraception will suck for men—and pretty much anyone who isn’t a billionaire.

4. Spread the word about Opill!